Some Presidential Humor from Stephen Colbert

In the May issue of GQ, Stephen Colbert was asked to fill out a job application for President. Here are some of his answers.
Please list four jobs prior to current position,” 1. Correspondent/Whipping Boy, The ‘Daily Show’ with Jon Stewart. Duties included: carrying water for Jon Stewart’s liberal agenda. 2. Investigative reporter WKJC-Raleigh. Blew the lid off the ‘Yield’ sign controversy on Maple Street, just past the Arby’s. 3. Male prostitute — but ‘classy.’ In fact, that was my street name — Butt Classy. 4. Arby’s.”
Have you ever been arrested: “Refused to leave George H.W.’s victory party on Election Night 1992 until every vote was counted — Hilton staff wrestled me from Bush suite after attempt to hug Barbara.”
How will you appeal to women voters: “First of all, I don’t want to appeal to women voters. I want to appeal to lady voters.”
Hypothetical: on the eve of the South Carolina primary, you are unjustly accused of fathering an illegitimate child. What is your defense strategy?”1. Find out who squealed. 2. Hard to say. What color is this illegitimate child?”
Any other situations that could embarrass your campaign: “1. Once treated Wolf Blitzer as peer. 2. Tongued Jane Fonda. 3. Totalitarian ruler of Malawi, 1982-84.”
What are the three greatest threats to America: “1. Bears. 2. Clive Owen. 3. Other countries.”
What are your views on illegal immigration: “We simply lay down one of those invisible electric dog fences and just put the shock collars on the Mexicans. Just until they learn. It’s the humane solution.”


Comments

  1. Keen Observer says

    Missed the “humor” here. Conservative? Pro-life? Not even political. Political Hack lives up to the name.

    Isn’t this the same poster who got it wrong on Barry Aarons(Barry Aarons Wrong On Tax Pledge) and went after Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney(Another Romney Flip Flop)?

  2. Sonoran Truth Squad says

    Humor is clearly in the eye of the beholder… Some of that was funny…

  3. I thought it was pretty funny. As for going after Romney. Good. Romney is a liberal fraud.

Leave a Reply